Memories
by Pyreflies Painter
Summary: ..."Tessa always wondered why there were red flowers during their wedding day"... Memories are painful. They say time heals all wounds...   Love is eternal. But what if the memory is about love? One-shot. Contains CP spoilers.


**A/N: I know. I should be working on 'Dust and Shadows', but I've had this wonderful idea. **

**The credit goes to U-KISS, a Korean band. One of their songs (I'll tell you at the end because it'll ruin the surprise) has utterly touched me today as much as Haru-Haru by BIGBANG.**

**P.S. Clockwork Prince spoilers exist here!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Infernal Devices. I am not Cassandra Clare. Credit also belongs to U-KISS.**

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><p>-Memories-<p>

Jem laughed as she took too long to switch to C. Tessa sighed in exasperation, but laughed with him nevertheless. The morning light filtered through the window of their room and Tessa sighed into him. She looked at his musician's fingers as he adjusted her fingers for the C note. She could see the glimmer of his wedding ring on his left hand. Every time she looked at it, she could feel pure and utter _happiness_ fill her insides. Memories of their wedding day flashed before her eyes. The twirling and the dress. Then the red flowers.

Tessa always wondered why there were red flowers during their wedding day. She remembered asking for hyacinths and hyacinths _only_. It clashed with the colours.

_Oh __well_, she shrugged as Jem finished adjusting her fingers. Then, he told her to- _gently_ -drag the bow down. Tessa did so then switched to A and back to C. She could feel the violin's sounds vibrate into her and raised the hairs along her arms and her neck, but in a good way. She sighed once more and Jem wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her on the cheek. She giggled as she made her way to the violin case, he never letting go of her.

There was a knock on the door.

Tessa looked up to see Will smiling at them. There was a painful twist in her heart every time she looked at him. She remembered the day in the drawing room... then shook her head as she realised she should not think of things like these anymore. Besides, she knew well enough that Will was happy. If not, then he would not be the one fetching them for dinner. If not, then his face wouldn't be contorting with longing and pain. Instead, they were just filled with content and peace. After all, he wasn't cursed anymore and he could let people love him.

They walked down the corridor, Jem holding her hand. Once they reached the dining room, Tessa greeted everyone as she sat down next to Jem. Still, she could hear Bridget's dreadful Irish wails. She sighed and Jem smiled at her. He didn't seem to find it to his liking either. However, as Tessa spooned her mashed potatoes, she must admit that Bridget was a good cook.

Dinner passed by uneventfully. Everyone was awfully quiet. Everyone _is_ awfully quiet lately. 'I wonder what's wrong,' Tessa mumbled as Jem pulled her to him. The candlelight played with his features, turning his silver hair and eyes slightly copper. His eyes were half-closed but there was still a warm smile on his face as he pushed her hair away from her face. 'Jem?' She asked once more but he must've been too sleepy to say anything. Instead, he pulled her to him and she tucked her head under his chin. There it was again, the _happiness_. Her eyes closed as she made a sound of contentment.

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><p>'Will,' Tessa's eyes opened, 'you have to tell her soon. We, we can't stand watching it anymore.' It was a familiar voice. Charlotte. Tessa turned away from Jem's shirt to look at the door to their room. The voices were coming right outside it. 'Please...'<p>

'No.' It was Will, his voice pained.

Curiosity pricked at Tessa and questions started to formulate in her mind. What was Will and Charlotte doing outside of their room, having a conversation at this ungodly hour?

'Please Will,' Charlotte's voice was pained as well. 'You're the only one that can explain. I don't want to put this burden onto you, but only you can explain. She'll listen to you. She trusts you.' Tessa smiled to herself. She may listen to Will, but she'll hardly ever trust him.

There was a long silence and Tessa anticipated for the answer. 'Alright.' Will sighed heavily. There was something at the tone of his voice that made her squirm and then stop, realising that she could've awaken her husband.

Her _husband_. She had to suppress a girlish giggle as she leaned into Jem.

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><p>Tessa was giving herself one last look at the vanity table before going down for breakfast. Jem had already gone, telling her that he needed something. She tucked in a loose strand of her hair behind her ear as she remembered what he said to her once. '<em>Ni <em>_hen __piao __liang_,' she whispered the words to herself. The first time he told her what it meant, he was lying. Then, he confessed to her that it actually meant 'you are beautiful' and she could remember the way he blushed at her. It was awfully adorable, coming from him.

There was a knock on the door. Tessa expected to see Jem, but instead Will was standing at the doorway. He smiled at her. 'Good morning Miss Gray-oh. I mean Mrs Carstairs.' Will smiled teasingly at her and Tessa shook her head, but grinned nevertheless.

'Good morning Mr Herondale,' she greeted him as she rose from the chair. Will's smile faltered for a moment, but quirked up again. Tessa's eyebrows creased.

There was a moment of dreadful silence.

'I-I need to talk to you Tessa,' he said in a soft voice as his head hung and his smile disappeared. She couldn't see his eyes which were usually her way of knowing what he was feeling. They were always the window to what he felt.

Tessa hesitated, then nodded. 'Alright. What is it?'

Will turned to the chest at the foot of the four-poster bed. 'Shall we sit down?' Tessa made her way to the chest and sat on it. Will sat next to her, but refused to look at her eyes. 'I need to tell you something _very_ important Tessa.' There was something in his voice. Something that _terrified_ her.

Finally, he looked at her.

She had to stifle back a gasp.

Will looked so... _sad_. His face was creased in pain and his eyes looked _miserable_. He sighed heavily and took her hands. Tessa nearly jumped in surprise. 'Will-'

'Do you remember,' he cut her off as he looked intently at her, 'do you remember _anything _after the wedding?' He spoke slowly as if the question was utterly important. So important that she _had_ to answer it.

Tessa searched through her memories. She and Jem got on the carriage. It was dark. They were riding in the night. She had leaned into him as he caressed her cheek, whispered soft 'I love you's. Kissed her. Red flowers. Then, there was... then... there was...

Her eyebrows creased. How can she not remember anything on the way to their honeymoon? 'What do you remember? Tell me.' Will asked her and Tessa looked at him with big eyes. She swallowed back something. Something painful.

'I-I remember Jem kissing me in the carriage. Then there were... I can't... _remember_,' she breathed. Tessa looked at Will who's expression had turned to pity. _Pity?_

She pulled her hand from his grasp. 'I think it's time for us to go-'

His hand lashed out and Tessa made a startled noise. He held her wrist, then turned it and pulled the sleeves of her dress back. 'There,' he pointed to her revealed skin, 'the inside of your elbow. Tessa, there.' His voice, it almost cracked. Tessa looked at the inside of her right elbow.

She gasped.

A long scar ran from the inside of her right elbow and stopped just before her wrist. Tessa pulled her arm away from Will as she stared at it. She did not remember getting such a horrible scar there! 'I-I don't get it,' Tessa turned to Will. She could sense something coming on. A harsh realisation. It was a big tidal wave, a tsunami, right above her. Memories shuffled through her head as she looked at the tsunami. The carriage. A sudden panicked neighing filled her ears. Red flowers.

Will opened his mouth at the same time she heard someone scream a muffled scream. Will said something but she couldn't see him anymore. She could only see more of the red flowers mixed among silk and silver hair-

Tessa felt the breath leave her and her legs go out from under her. She fell to the floor as the tsunami crashed on her.

She shook. She hugged herself as everything made sense. The red flowers. They _weren__'__t __red __flowers_. They never made it to their honeymoon. Tears started rolling down her cheeks and she could hear a scream. It was distant and it was hers.

Will was suddenly next to her and he attempted to comfort her. Tessa pushed him away as she opened her eyes. The room had lost its life. The light coming from the window disappeared. The violin case lied on the bedside table, crying out for its master to come back and play it. To fill the Institute hallways with its brilliance. Its beauty.

But his master is never coming back.

She could hear say sorry as he explained the accident. How they were too late. How he had protected her even then. Then he explained how she pretended he was still there. How she needed to move on. Will apologised once more.

'Jem is dead.'

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><p><strong>AN: If you happen to know Korean music especially U-KISS, I bet you'd know that the song I had listened to is 0330. :'( I nearly cried realising what it was about! (I don't understand Korean, but the music video showed a lot!) Anyway, it inspired me to write this. **

**I hope you liked it. :D It was quite a quick write, but I wrote from what I felt and that's how I want to write. After all, what would the story be like if the writer felt nothing? How can you write a love story if you don't feel love yourself?**


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